Three things I will never have:
Romance
Actual True Love
Nothing Phony
"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."
Marlene Dietrich said that. That is the quote that I chose to live by when Eli Luac broke my heart.
Eli and I had been going steady for two years an we were planning on getting married the fall after we finally graduated. I'd already started making my dress. We were in love, even though we were just juniors in high school. You know what they say...young love.
I gave Eli everything I had and he just crushed it all.
One night after the Homecoming Dance at our school, I caught Eli smacking lips with Kennedy High School's biggest tart, Melissa Thorton.
I was astounded. I yelled and cursed and hit. We talked and we decided that he wasn't ready for marriage, or me. I haven't spoken to him since.
He and I have moved separate ways. He's still with Melissa, even though she cheats on him all of the time, and I'm all alone.
I don't know if I can ever love again. I mean, I know I can, its just...I don't know if I want to. I'm scared of being hit by a pang of torment.
Before Eli Luac I was the most hopeless romantic you'd have ever met. Everyday I would daydream about kissing Tony Curtis like Marilyn Monroe did in Some Like It Hot! or singing about being hopelessly devoted to John Travolta in Grease. I would also fantasize what it would be like to be in love like Landon and Jamie in A Walk to Remember. This is my favorite daydream.
Finally I'd wake up and see that I was with Eli and we were happy. I'd see that we were like Landon and Jamie except I don't have cancer and Eli is not the bad boy type.
Eli Luac changed me. He makes me question if love is real, if it really exists. For me, at least.
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