I'm so sick...

I'm so sick of high school. I seriously want to quit right now!! I'm kind of in a bind right now too. I've missed a lot of days and I may have to do Saturday school, but I don't want to! I just want to get out of here and move on with my life. I'm thinking about going to this "school" called Success. If I went there then I would graduate in just a few days. Less than a week for sure. I'm debating on it. I'd love to graduate with my class, but I just don't know about it right now. I'm so stressed out about planning the wedding and going to college and some stuff with Brandon and I'm just sick of it!! I really want to just get out of here. Now!

During my next class I'm going to go and talk to my college counselor and figure out if I would still get my scholarship to MCC if I went to Success. If I would, I'll go. I know its pretty dumb of me to leave whenever I just have a month left of school, but I really can't handle it right now. I can't. If I get out of school quicker, I can work more and make more money, which I need. I'm really depressed right now. I can't handle all of this stress of graduating. I mean, I'm scared but I'm ready for it to be over all ready! Even though I already have my invitations and my cap and gown (which I'll just give to Carly) and I'll try to sell my invitations. I just really want out right now. I'm struggling with too much and it's really hard for me because I'm just 17. I can't handle this much! I just need to really talk to someone about everything. I called my friend Sarah, who went to Success like a month or two ago, and it took her a week to graduate. A week!! Anyways, I'm just really bummed right now.

There's a girl in my grade that is having to do the same thing as me, but she's going to go to summer school or saturday school. I don't want to though. I don't know why. I think it's because I just want out right now. I'm tired of coming to school. Maybe its because I'm lazy. That's pathetic I know. Why do I need a high school education whenever I'm going to college. I mean, I'm a senior and I have a month left of school. What else are they going to teach me?? Nothing. I mean, I'm getting married and I'm only going to college so that if anything happens to Brandon, then I'd be able to support us. And if I do ever get a job, it'll either be something to do with writing (books, possibly, or news, or something!!) or photography.

It would be so cool to start my own photography business. I would be thrilled. I know it would be hard, but it'd be worth it to do something I love to do. And just maybe, maybe Carly would join in with me. I don't know though. I have no idea what she wants to be. I know she likes kids and stuff to deal with kids. Whatever. I wish that I would have gone to Success whenever Sarah did. When she went, I was mad at her for leaving. I can't remember. She had her reasons though.

Anyways, enough of the depressing stuff.

This Saturday, Brandon and I are going to a really cool (and expensive) mall in Dallas. I'm excited. I really need a little day trip. Especially with Brandon. Him and I are kind of rocky right now, but we're working on it. And no its not his fault, its mine. I'm the stupid one. At least he forgives me. I'm the luckiest girl in the entire world. I'm so happy with him. He gets me through my hard times. I think I might go see him tonight, unless we play volleyball, then I'd just see him there. This week, I missed two days of school and I don't even care.

These days I've been so negative about everything. I don't know why. Well, I do, but I don't care. I've drained myself by caring so much about school and I'm tired of it. See! It's all I can talk about. I tried to go onto a different subject, but I just landed right back talking about this crap.

10 minutes until class is over.

Later.